2:46 in the morn

It's 2:46 in the morning. I laid down on the bed at 9pm and crashed hard until 1:30. My body was obviously tired. I had intended to do some preliminary sketches for a new portrait commission. My sketchbook rested beside me as I slept. Then of course I had to poke around on the laptop next to my bed and another hour has gone by. The last stop I made was to Stephanie Puimun Law's blog (she has a blog now!) I remember when she was just on deviant art. Now she's on Etsy and so forth. I was thinking about how I've let so much time pass without digging my heals into creating.

I've debated a lot about what to do with my life. Do I go into Computers (IT) or whatever high profile job my ego suggested. Or, do I simply throw caution to the wind and stop running from what I've been doing all my life. Sadly all I've done is debate these ideas and haven't made and inch of progress either way. My best friend has been a nurse for 5 years now. I met her before she went to college. I feel so left behind at times. I would help her study for exams and encourage her when she thought that she would never make it out of school. Why is it so easy for me to help other people but not myself?

Well, I've gotta go back to bed. The alarm is set for 5:40 so I can get up and go work for somebody else for now. There are days like yesterday when I really want to give the peace sign and walk out the door.